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So sexual-massage, yeah? It’s like a massage, but spicy, innit. Them hands ain’t just kneadin’ ya back - they’re goin’ *places*, fam. Little-known fact - back in ancient times, them Chinese emperors was gettin’ these rubs to “balance their chi” or summat. Probs just an excuse to get freaky, haha! Makes me laff thinkin’ about some posh git in a robe tryna play it cool while he’s all oiled up.

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After the meeting, I decide to take a breather. I step outside, and it’s like the universe is mocking me. It starts to rain. Not just a drizzle, but full-on torrential downpour. I’m standing there, drenched, thinking, “Is this a scene from a movie?” I mean, come on!

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